Noadvisory Podcast
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Noadvisory Podcast
Setting Boundaries That Actually Hold
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A kid shows up to school in a skirt and the adult world loses its mind. We start with the real question behind the headline: are we protecting children’s freedom to express themselves, or are we enforcing comfort and tradition and calling it “appropriate”? We debate parenting, uniforms, bullying, and the way school rules often become a stand-in for bigger fears about gender roles and social pressure.
Then the conversation takes a wild but revealing turn into “games” that aren’t really games, like knocking someone’s food out of their hands and calling it a joke. It’s funny until it isn’t, and that’s exactly the point. Respect, consequences, and community norms all collide, and it sets us up for the main theme: boundaries. Not the trendy “protect your peace” soundbite, but real boundaries you can name, communicate, and enforce without turning into the villain.
We break boundaries down in plain language: physical boundaries (don’t touch me, don’t show up unannounced), emotional boundaries (stop dumping your chaos on me like I’m your free therapist), and time boundaries (no, I’m not available just because I’m home, and no, I’m not sitting on FaceTime staring at your ceiling). We also clear up a big misconception: a boundary isn’t a rule to control someone else, it’s a decision about what we will do when a line gets crossed. If you’ve ever felt guilty for saying no, this one’s for you.
Subscribe for more conversations like this, share the episode with a friend who needs stronger boundaries, and leave a review with the one boundary you’re finally done negotiating.
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Cold Open And House Shoutouts
SPEAKER_03Under dress inappropriately, can you come and bring some change of clothes?
SPEAKER_09Like what what's the argument when you're talking to your child?
SPEAKER_08I love boundaries. I don't like when motherfuckers don't say they boundaries.
SPEAKER_13When you are mad at me, not cuss at me.
SPEAKER_03Yay! Shout out to the most dangerous recruiting about the podcast. Your boy, C. McLean, Ariola.
SPEAKER_09What's up, y'all? It's Lex Rated.
SPEAKER_13It's your girl Dominal About Me.
SPEAKER_03Yes, man. Shout to uh Jasmine that just left, but that's my girl. Shout out to Jasmine. Shout out to Nolan Dex. You know. Shout to Nola Death. Shout out to my man 730 on the good old 43. Shout out to K Did you know the K. Shout my nigga loose in the back drop.
SPEAKER_08No, it's fine. It's fine. It's fine.
SPEAKER_03Oh, you got oh yeah. I just heard you do nothing for you. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. Motherfuckers do forge and shit. And y'all got it done, man. So maybe it's holding another guy, man. You know what I'm saying? Something we blow up, then we gotta get the fuck up out of here. But it's okay. We probably we'll send you like a million guys.
SPEAKER_09Yeah, I hope so, because the door, the front door shit, Seven. Come on now.
SPEAKER_03Are they gonna pay for that? They said they're gonna deny that for it.
SPEAKER_09I knew they weren't paying for it.
SPEAKER_03So they renegonate what they was gonna say. They denied it. That's fucking crazy. That's fucking.
SPEAKER_07Let's give them a swatching.
unknownYou want me to make a video about it?
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_09Seven said, don't fight for me. Seven said, don't fight for me. I fuck you, Seven.
SPEAKER_03But you know what is, man. Charles are both dangerous coming back to King Club. How many don't have topics? We didn't have a hurt tackle today. So we're gonna do is we're just gonna jump off with a with a topic of the
Should A Boy Wear A Skirt
SPEAKER_03day. I'm gonna let y'all choose. It's two topics. Um, I don't know if y'all heard it, saw it, but the one of the topics was the uh the mother let her, I think she was like eight or nine-year-old son, go to school with a skirt on. The teacher had texted the moms and said, Hey, your son is dressed inappropriately. Can you come and bring some change of clothes? The mother denied it and was like, I'm letting my son be freely express himself as nothing in the uniform code that says, you know, um the boy can't wear the skirt. So that's one topic. The other topic was um a guy, black guy, his two kids, black kids, they was at a pool, nothing but white people at the pool. And um two, I guess, uh I don't know who they were, but they came and um wanted to identify who the black person was by his ID. He felt appalled because none of the the two white ladies didn't ask any of the other people who happen to be white for the ID. Um he didn't have his ID at the time because they had the pool, but he is a resident. He proved that he's a resident, but the white people call up call the police on him to try to get him escorted out. Um so which one y'all wanna y'all wanna harp on before we get into um our segments?
SPEAKER_06Shit. Both of them are pretty like huge social issues right now.
SPEAKER_09Uh I won't I'll I'll Or we can talk about both a little bit. I mean, we could talk about both a little bit, but like I also don't want to be on here yapping because I feel very strongly on my side or for both. Okay, well, how do you feel? For uh let's go with the first one. Okay, with the kid and the skirt. Yes. I say kudos to the mother. Okay. If she personally had a conversation with her son, and her son said, Mama, I want to wear a squirt to school.
SPEAKER_04A squirt or a skirt.
SPEAKER_09Skirt, whichever it was, we don't have details. They're I mean it's two things. But like I wouldn't be like, oh no, that's for girls. That's me personally. I don't I don't want to assign a gender to clothing because I don't feel like it personally that gender should be assigned to clothing. I get, you know, personal preferences and what people want to see or don't want to see, but like me personally, I'm proud of her for supporting her child's decision because there's nothing really that makes a skirt for a girl other than somebody deciding at some point that girls should only wear skirts. And not too long ago, when it was like the Western times and they were wearing fucking um dresses and shit, sitting on the horses, it was crazy for them to wear pants. Like they would look at you crazy when you have pants on and you're a female riding horses. So it's kind of just like I don't know, I you wanna wear a skirt, you wanna wear a skirt. I think the school's kind of fucked up for making him feel uncomfortable about wearing a skirt. It's a skirt.
SPEAKER_03It looks like this is gonna be the topic we're gonna talk about. How you feel, Donnie?
SPEAKER_13I think she can still support her son and still redirect, like, okay, you know, let's wear a skirt after you get home. I mean, like after you get home from school, like yeah. Um, but while we're at school, pants are your are part of your uniform. Like let's like let's still be a parent because I think it's too much free will. Like, that's a young child, that's not even a teenager. So I don't I don't think she should have allowed him to wear a skirt at school, especially because you do also have to think about other children as well. School is where you learn. You learn everything. It's not just from the teachers, it's also from your peers. So, you know, because of today in our society, influence, I mean, trends, all of that spreads fast. I mean, he might start wearing a skirt now, and by the end of the school year, the whole class wearing skirts. And it could have been avoided. Like, yes, we want them to be themselves, and you know, we want them to be supported, but it's some things we can avoid. Like, we can do both.
SPEAKER_09The question is, why do we need to avoid it though? Why like what what's the argument when you're talking to your child for why they can't wear a specific type of clothing when it has something to do with with gender roles? When right now women want to be equal to men. So if we want to be equal to men, why should clothing be something to have people like, oh no, you can't do that because then other people might want to do it. I mean equality is equality for me. I just personally feel like we can't we can't we can't pick and choose what we want to be.
SPEAKER_13There's a time and place for everything though. Like we I mean, you can't you can absolutely wear a skirt, but not in school. Yeah, I can't like you can you can absolutely carry a gun, but not in school. You can absolutely smoke, but not in school. You know what I'm saying? Like it's not just clothes.
SPEAKER_09I mean, but there's no point in but there's also a reason why schools don't put in their code of conduct that boys can't wear skirts because they get sued for it. So if you know that legally you can't tell somebody what they can wear as long as it's appropriate, why the fuck do you care? We're there to learn, not to pay attention to what Johnny got on his ass.
SPEAKER_03I just think like it's it's I can see both sides of it. You know what I'm saying? I just feel like at that age, it's like a parent got to be a parent, right? It's like, okay, yes, you want your kid to express themselves and things of that nature, but it's like when you going into a school setting where it's multiple other kids, you know, that can influence other kids and confuse them. Like, you know, that doesn't know about that. Like, why do you got why that kid got on a skirt? So it's like when you go to school to, you know, to diamond point, it's like when you go there, the dress code is for boys to wear pants and for the females to wear the skirts. You want to be open with your child, but that's something that I feel like you should communicate with your child. Like, hey, listen, I want you to be expressive as possible. But when you go to school, there's just certain things that guidelines we gotta just stick to. When you come home, put the skirt on, do whatever you want to do, be free. But I think it's just a a line, you know, that you have to be a parent at that certain age. Now, I guess if he was like 13 or something, have at it, you know what I'm saying? But obviously he wasn't, you know. Amani, Clarissa, what up, girls? How you doing? Hello. You know, so I just think, you know, in that instance, it I could see both sides of the coin. And um, you know, the then the teacher had, you know, text the mother and was like, hey, you know, your son is dressed inappropriately. Can you bring a change of clothes? And the the mother was like, Well, you know, I want my son to be, you know, express himself and things of that nature. So I get what the mom's saying, and I get what the school is saying. So I I could I could, you know, kind of get both sides. You know what I mean? Um, yeah. What's up, y'all? I don't know how the discussion of as to I saw social media where the young boy was sent to school with a skirt and the teacher had text his mother and say, Hey, your young boy's here with a skirt. Can you bring some clothes over? Uh, you know, to change him out of that because it's inappropriate, you know, and the mother was like, No, I want my son to be free. And so that's what we're talking about. Um, so do you guys kind of care to chime in about the situation? Yes, no?
unknownNo?
SPEAKER_03Lucid, do you before we get into the our segments? Huh? No? Okay.
SPEAKER_07Just say no.
SPEAKER_03It is, it is a touchy one, you know. I mean, it's always a touchy subject when you're dealing with kids on top of the whole situation. So people gotta be very careful in what they say, you know, because it could be flip whole type of way, you know. So everybody has their stance on things, right? Everybody, some people gonna feel how they feel for, some people gonna feel how they feel against. But again, you just gotta agree to disagree sometimes when on certain topics. And I feel like, you know, that's a topic that you can't win or lose on you. You just gotta play straight. You got anything to say, Swish? I know you didn't say anything. Swish might swish might go with the tangent.
SPEAKER_08Nah, you don't go with Tang. Okay. It's just no, I feel like if the mother, I mean, if if the school or anybody is feeling some type of way about her letting her kid wear that to the school, I feel like it's because she don't want the kid to get bullied. You know, like people. She don't want the kid to get to get bullied. She's not gonna be scammed in the skirt. Yes, I said no. No, I'm talking about the people who got something to say about, like, the school, like, or me in general, like I don't I don't think it's a good idea because you that kid might get bullied bad. Unless that kid is boxing after school, or he got a stable household to where his like I know his mother in there, I don't know his father in there, but like, yeah, you got I don't know, you're gonna have a hard time in school with with a skirt on as a boy.
SPEAKER_03I mean, yeah, not necessarily because it's like it's now is like widely accepted. So it's not in the school next to it. Before it was it was a normal, right? Now it's like it's shit is super normal now, you know.
SPEAKER_08But I think at the age, that's where Yeah, but I because I feel like if if if the kid been dressing like that, yeah, but like if he was dressing like like a regular, like straight boy, yeah, like then he just came that day, they don't give him a hell.
SPEAKER_09Yeah, but what y'all are forgetting is that all these things aren't things that kids think. When they're kids and they want to do something, like wear a skirt, they're not thinking about the politically correct reason why they shouldn't wear a skirt and how other people may feel if they wear a skirt and if they might get bullied if they wear a skirt. They want to wear a skirt and they want to wear a skirt to school.
SPEAKER_08Hey, how you know how you how do you know uh how how do you know how a kid feeling?
SPEAKER_09It is because I I I was talking about it.
SPEAKER_03How do you know though, Lex? You can't hear you though to money, that's why I said do you want to change it?
SPEAKER_13I do I do I do agree with you, Lex, but I also think that kids are like they have to go home to their parents, and if their parents have things to say about that kid at school, they they might end up bullying that kid because of what their parents said, or something like that. Like, it's so many different possibilities that can just simply be avoided if we just wear pants to school and she can go to the mall with her son in the skirt after school.
SPEAKER_09I don't know not one school in the US that you can go to and avoid bullying.
SPEAKER_13So that's true, but you can try to prevent it.
SPEAKER_09No, hell no, hell no, Diamond. I I love you if you went to a school like that and you are surrounded by that because you you deserve that peace. But let me tell you, it ain't safe out here, it ain't safe out here. And then when I was going to school, it was a different dynamic. Like, I remember seeing boys wear skirts to school, and I was like, oh shit, I like how he did that. Because it was a fashion choice. Over time, I guess people can say that shit is getting pushed on people, but like over time, I think as humans, we develop our thought process on certain subjects when at the beginning, before something is introduced to you, you don't have a bias towards it. For example, if uh somebody that assaulted a child lives down the street and you never knew that he assaulted a child, like you guys have cookouts all the time, he helps you fix your car, and then one day you find out that he assaulted a child, of course, your perception of that person is gonna change, but up until you were presented with that evidence, you don't give a fuck. So kids truly do what they want unless they're exposed to somebody telling them they shouldn't. And if you think about it, as adults, we don't really have an answer for why they shouldn't. Correct. We don't. So let them do what the fuck they want to do. And as a parent, be supportive.
SPEAKER_12Correct.
SPEAKER_09Either way go. If you feel like your child's gonna get bullied, sign them up for boxing classes.
SPEAKER_08But look, look, besides them like just getting punched on and bullied and picked on, it's what you never know what somebody do when they get to their breaking point. Push somebody to that point. Now they bringing a knife to school or a gun to school to get down on that bully. They in the skirt. They're gonna do it in the skirt.
SPEAKER_00You feel me?
SPEAKER_03But yeah, I mean, I would I would definitely Yeah, kids are smart, and I feel like Whoa, whoa, no, no, they did a report that Gen Z, they said that's the first generation that's dumber than the um what the last.
SPEAKER_12They didn't say dumb, but well, like, yeah, literally.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, they were well dumber. Well, okay, let me let me stop. Social media.
SPEAKER_09Yeah, it's social media and the internet. We didn't have internet growing up, so we had to like figure shit out. And these kids had everything, like they can just go on Google and find the answer to everything. They don't have to have common sense or like be able to have like a whole problem solving shit. Like being outside all day trying to figure out what you're gonna do for the next eight hours because you can't keep coming in and out the house. Like, come on now. That's a lot of problem solving going on right there.
SPEAKER_03Because the majority of these kids, all they do is spend time on social media death scrolling, just sitting there. Yeah, I call it death scrolling. I know it's good in scrolling, I call it death scrolling. Because it's like I done seen kids just there's one person I saw the other day on the phone, busy, um, busy exploring busy street on the phone, right? Just walking, just walking. I was like, ah, I'm like, there's no way you dad in dressed in your phone where you're about to walk into moving cars on your phone, scrolling. If I done said yo, that'd have been out of here. It's crazy. It's crazy.
unknownCrazy.
SPEAKER_03Crazy. All right, but yeah, man, that was um I will I guess I'm gonna keep the team. Yes, they're gonna just they have money.
SPEAKER_12I was here for it.
SPEAKER_09Yeah, sometimes when you take emotion out of shit and you just look at the logic behind certain shit, you understand that humans are dumb as fuck.
SPEAKER_03Majority.
SPEAKER_09Well, all of us are dumb as fuck. We all do dumb shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_09But majority of the time it's out of emotion or ignorance.
SPEAKER_13So and unfortunately, that is what we inspect. It's a plethora of pieces. Yeah, and we're gonna say, so what was he doing?
The Knockout Game And Payback
SPEAKER_03If y'all know my what would you do is my what would you do's are always accounts that happen by me, accounts that I saw, or account that that somebody told me. This one is something that I did as a kid. I got I got your source. I gave you one on my um stories. I think I said it before, but I don't know if I said it before. All right, so what would you do? I don't know if y'all ever, well, y'all y'all may know. Y'all may some of y'all may I don't know about Dom. Maybe Dom won't know. Spit it out. Let me get through it, okay? I gotta go through my little motions, okay? Leave me alone. Have a traumatic day today. Okay. So, what would you do? Y'all familiar with a game. If you're ever familiar with a game that's called um um we call a knockout, right? So it's a it's a very bad game. So I like it. Yes, I advise people that they, you know, my generation that know about that game. It was a lot of fights and shit that happened because of that game. So, what would you do? What would you do? And you know, like, you know, in the in in the neighborhood, this is a game that everybody plays. So you gotta be very mindful of what you bring out of certain places, right?
SPEAKER_09You know, I don't know if I want to ask this because of how long it's gonna take you to. Let's but what is knockout? Can you explain the game? I'm gonna Oh, you're gonna get to it. Okay, my bad.
SPEAKER_03I was I was setting it up. I'm sorry. Okay, I just wanted to throw the word knocking out there. Okay. So what would you do? What would you do? Say if you go and you hungry as fuck. Like, all right, go to the Chinese store. Back then, five wings fries was like three dollars, three fifty back then. Discount deal. So you hungry, you go, pay you $3.50, you get your five wings, get your French fries, hungry as fuck. Come outside, open your food, about to eat it, and somebody said, boom, knockout, and knock all your food out your motherfucking hand. What would you do?
SPEAKER_09Oh, so that's the objective of the game. Yes.
SPEAKER_03Somebody I know.
SPEAKER_08But it's not nobody I know.
SPEAKER_03Huh? It's somebody I know. No, it's nobody you know. It's like you in the whole the whole neighborhood just plays the game. Like it's whole neighborhood, like you just know, like you gotta be very mindful of what the fuck is going on.
SPEAKER_09Is it always food out of people's hands or the food?
SPEAKER_03It could be anything.
SPEAKER_09Well, you didn't how the fuck am I doing?
SPEAKER_03I just said food because that was the thing, that was the situation.
SPEAKER_09I asked you to explain what the game is.
SPEAKER_03That's the game knockout. It could be anything you fucking have, but in this particular instance, it was food. Oh, it's five wings and fries.
SPEAKER_09So they watch you get the food and then say, I'm gonna knock this nigga out.
SPEAKER_03No, no, no, no, not knock the nigga out.
SPEAKER_09No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I know the nigga. I know you knock the food out of his hand, but like, if it doesn't matter what he has in his hand, why would you say, I'm gonna knock this nigga food out of me? Just be like, I'm gonna knock this nigga out. So what I'm saying is, is that how you play the fucking game? Yes. You just knock why the fuck would y'all play that game?
SPEAKER_03Listen, I said in the beginning, I'm like, this is a game that you know, a lot of folks had a lot of fights, a lot of shit went down. What would you do? What'd you do? You put your food, that was and and just I'm I'm gonna throw this in there. That was your last $3.56.
SPEAKER_09No, ain't no fucking way. Ain't no fucking way. Yeah, no. What'd you do? We're fighting. Is it an adult age? Like I'm an adult or like teenage teenage, teenage. Like, because I feel like why the fuck would an adult be playing knockout? But at the same time, like I remind you, the whole, the whole thing.
SPEAKER_08I know somebody that do that right now. Like they do, they do content.
unknownThey do that shit.
SPEAKER_09No, fuck not. Like print.
SPEAKER_08It's up no shit. We fighting though. I ain't even I ain't even gonna be hungry no more until I fight. Until I fight you, I can't eat. I can't eat until we fight.
SPEAKER_03So switch fight and what'd you do, Lex?
SPEAKER_09I would I would have to feel the same way. Like, I don't know. I don't know because I want my food. So like you definitely gonna have to go buy me some. More chicken and it's $3.50, so it ain't really that much. But like, nigga, ain't no way I can't let that go. I can't let that go. It's food. I can't let that go. I can't let that go. A drink, you know. I could go get another drink. But like, who gonna fry up five pieces of chicken nigga and French fries in the next 30 seconds? Like, let's be real.
SPEAKER_13And it was your last. Yo!
SPEAKER_09And they're not gonna give you a refund of food. Like, who the fuck says I saw you got your food knocked out your hand? Here's some more food. No, you would have had to pay for that. Fuck no, ain't no way. I'm gonna have to get it back in blood. I can't. What would you do, Diamond?
SPEAKER_13Um, teenage years, I probably would have gotten a fight. I'm not gonna I'm not gonna lie. Like, I probably just would have started singing. Got into a fight? Yeah.
SPEAKER_09Yeah, and it would, it would have been a statement. Like, nobody would have wanna play knockout for the rest of the year. Like, I I would just be lining niggas up like they did in that one commercial when he smacked the shit out of everybody at the birthday party. It would just have to be that because like I need y'all to know don't you ever knock no fucking food out of my hand while I'm about to eat. That's crazy.
SPEAKER_03Crazy, right? It's crazy.
SPEAKER_09Kids are not crazy, right?
SPEAKER_03Right, it's crazy.
SPEAKER_09You was playing that shit. Like I'm a you a bad kid if you doing that.
SPEAKER_01Go ahead, Luce. What'd you do? Nah, I'm chasing, I'm chasing that nigga down. You gonna chase him down? I'm chasing him down, yo, because I know he's gonna take off and running shit. But we used to play that game a long time ago, though. That's why I started bugging out laughing.
SPEAKER_03You know, see?
SPEAKER_01I was about to start crying. Yeah, we used to play that shit. We but we had we had rules though. It was like, you know what I'm saying? Um like no food or nothing like that. Yeah. But like drinks or some shit like that, or just like random shit. Like, nigga, you might have, like, you know what I'm saying, some some bags in your hand, like some groceries or some shit, nigga. Just knock the shit out. Knock out, knock out. That's crazy. Get going. Like, you gotta eat that. Like, nigga, ain't no way around it. So I'll chase the nigga.
SPEAKER_09Like, geographical reasons, because I cannot imagine being a teenager outside and somebody just like run past. Like, I cannot imagine that in the South. We do not do that shit. You can't do that shit. And just no, because then everybody's gonna have to jump you. Like, if you got your cousins with you, if it's summertime, everybody's gonna have to jump you. There's no way.
SPEAKER_12It's reckless. I'm with Lex. I'm from the South. That's not a game down here. But um, I guess if I were in that situation, which again, a lot of your what would you do's, I don't envision myself ever being in because they are so fucking ridiculous. I'm sorry. I just have to say, but for me, I try, even though I could take it there and be physical, I would much rather not. You know, I am of the belief that pretty girls don't fight. So, but pretty girls have an extensive vocabulary, so I will verbally assault you. So if you, you know, so if you happen to knock over my chicken, I'm not going to punch you over $3.50. Because again, look at me, I'm not doing that. But I will let you know that that is no and you a teenager. No, it is very disrespectful, but I'm again, I'm going to let you know how disrespectful that is via my words. What you gonna do?
SPEAKER_05And then we'll never talk, so there's that. But I just feel like that's disrespectful. Don't knock shit out of my hand. It don't matter if it's chicken, it don't matter if it's water, my phone, don't knock nothing out of my hand. That's crazy. Don't play that game with me. Do not play that game with me. Like, I'm fighting, and it just depends on like if I'm hungry, you just knock that on my I'm coming after you. You better run. I'm coming after you.
SPEAKER_09Yo, okay. Just for my pleasure, are you as in the south or from the north? That's not a game.
SPEAKER_12I think that's why like it's like two different answers, but it comes down to the root of that's just not a game down here.
SPEAKER_09Yeah, it's like that's why it's hard for us to tag might be the closest. That's literally the closest. And that's still that's still. I don't know.
SPEAKER_12I think some of the hospitality goes even with like child games because why would like it is disrespectful, so we wouldn't think to play like that. That's why I'm like, y'all love North people, are so weird. Yeah, I'm gonna break it down to the fact that she said what she said, she said what she said. Because again, what is assault a game? I don't understand that you never really said what she said.
SPEAKER_09Because of salty, that's crazy. I like knockout, knockout is literally assault.
SPEAKER_03Okay, so this is what happened, right? And I didn't get it taken a little more. So the person that got the fool knocked out was me, right? Knocked my shit out of my hand, right? So I couldn't nail. I couldn't, I was see how you can even envision it. Like, I was pissed, but me, I'm like, alright, I ate that, right? So No, you didn't eat. No, no, no, not the food, but I literally not literally, but trinketatively, I had to eat that, right? I got you, right? So a couple of days went by. I'm hawking this nigga. I'm like, yo, I'm gonna fucking get this nigga where it's like, yo, huh?
unknownFive days later?
SPEAKER_03Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I I had to just I had to make sure it was the perfect opportunity. That you had a marinade on it. Yeah. So this one, right? So I outside we chilling. I seen him go into the liquor store. Oh, yeah, perfect opportunity. Right? We was all on the block chilling. I think it was, yeah, it was like, yeah. Yeah, it was like 18, like 18, 17, 18 around that time. So, but he was like a little old. I think he was like maybe, maybe he was 20. I don't know. So I saw him going to the liquor store. So I'm like, all right, you go to the liquor store. I'm I'm walking. Walk, me and me and my homeboy, cause like, if we gotta fight, you know, we gotta jump this nigga. I don't know. So we go, he comes out, he buy like a big fucking bottle of henny, big bottle of henny. He we on the side of the doors. He causes it's like the black shit, so you can't really see. Soon as this nigga came out, boom! Got this whole bottle of knockout, nigga. He was so I'm like, what you wanna do? You done knocked my whole last $250, nigga. I had to eat that. Now you eat that. And he's like, no the fuck, nigga. Fuck now, fuck this game. I ain't playing this game no more. I'm out, I'm now ain't playing knocking no more. So he died now. He didn't even play after that, nigga. He he he he's like, nah, I ain't playing this game no more. Fuck that. That my fucking hitty, nigga, my hitty like nigga, my chicken wings, nigga.
SPEAKER_10The fuck?
SPEAKER_00So yeah.
SPEAKER_13Hold on. That's what happened. Y'all was late teens. Y'all was grown. Right.
SPEAKER_12Oh, yeah. You just thought that he might have been in his 20s. He might have been in his 20s. I was 17. At the liquor store. You was grown.
SPEAKER_11Y'all were old enough. Y'all were thinking, it's like teen. Back to what I said, just a bit of a game. They don't do it.
SPEAKER_03That is a game that they looked up for. Like no. It was managed to be the buddies. Managed to be put in the biggest.
SPEAKER_12Y'all know it's weird. That's why you're down here. Just trying to.
SPEAKER_03You always say that.
SPEAKER_12And yet you've been down here probably 10 years.
SPEAKER_03You know what? 20 years putting the steak down here. You know what handball is? You know what handball is? Yeah. You know what handball is? Yeah. How you play handball? You don't know what handball is? I don't know how to play. I've never seen a blue ball down here in my life. Hey, pause, pause, pause. You know what Skelly is?
SPEAKER_09Skully like a hat?
SPEAKER_03No, no, no. Skelly. Not Skullly, Skelly. Skelly. You don't know what Skelly? You know what Skelly is?
SPEAKER_09Is it relevant to Skelly to knock in a bottle or henny out of somebody?
SPEAKER_03The game that we played as teenagers, like y'all wasn't predatory. What did you play out here in the South?
unknownNo.
SPEAKER_13What years were you a teenager? What years were you a teenager?
SPEAKER_03Nah, nah. Don't say that don't matter.
SPEAKER_12Games are probably obsolete by the time we came around.
SPEAKER_03It's a while ago. Only people with that bracket will understand. But yo, but I was talking about what you do, man. So what you do if you play the game of knockout and you came out with your food and somebody knocked out your $2.50, five wigs of fries. What would you do?
SPEAKER_09Details are yet versus $2.50. Hey, it's a gimmick.
SPEAKER_03It don't matter what the fuck you got in your head. That's how growing. You know, it was plenty of times niggas came outside like this with the food. Niggas was coming outside like this. I had too much time, man. Crazy hands. Those are good times, man. Those are good times in the wedding.
SPEAKER_09Clearly it wasn't.
SPEAKER_03It was great times, man. We had a yeah, it was a good time. Because you was hungry and he was sober.
SPEAKER_09And you only had $3.50 in your pocket at that time.
SPEAKER_03At that time.
SPEAKER_09It was a lot. How he get a whole bottle in the mind.
SPEAKER_03I don't know. But like back in there, you got bootleggers and shit like that.
SPEAKER_09Never mind. Because I don't I don't think Ant know details like his age. So he might be able to do it.
SPEAKER_03And back then, New York got 24-hour liquor stores. It's not like out here with the stuff.
SPEAKER_09But isn't it isn't the legal age to drink 21?
SPEAKER_03Yeah, 21, yeah. But I'm just saying, at those wee hours in the night or whatever, you still get your little bottles. You know what I'm saying? You're not from up north, you know, so you won't understand.
SPEAKER_09You're right here. You're right. I'm gonna stay down here where it's poet. So we're not playing it. Hi everybody.
What Boundaries Really Mean
SPEAKER_09If you're new here, this is triggered. My name is Lex, but I go by Lex Rated. Uh tonight I want to talk about boundaries. Move your neck.
SPEAKER_00Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa.
SPEAKER_09Everybody talks about them, but we do not actually understand them. So I've been hearing the word boundaries a lot everywhere, especially on social media, of course. And I've also been hearing protect your peace, set boundaries, respect my boundaries. Ooh, y'all remember that one time where Maxine was like, I'm protecting my peace. From living single? No. The lady from Congress or some shit. Who the fuck?
SPEAKER_10Yeah, I'm sorry, I was thinking living single.
SPEAKER_09God damn.
SPEAKER_03You gotta add context. Like you gotta add context. I mean, I can't throw on a name expect everybody knows who the fuck that is.
SPEAKER_09I mean, but when did when did Matt Scene say protecting my peace in the street? Well, we were trying to figure that out. Because she didn't.
SPEAKER_08Kyle probably was into it.
SPEAKER_09Though those of you who know, know. Um, but can anybody actually define what a boundary is? Not just in relationships, I mean like what an actual boundary is at the table. What's the boundary?
SPEAKER_03I mean, obviously a boundary to me or Is it obvious? Huh? Go ahead. No, I mean a boundary is like if you set a boundary, like like, say for instance, you like, listen, I don't like that, right? So I'm setting my boundary of I don't like that. And if I'm telling you that's one of my boundaries and you cross that boundary, then obviously what happened? You cross the boundary, so it's gonna be a problem. So you gotta set the boundary. This is the guideline, this is the boundaries, cross that it's gonna be a problem.
SPEAKER_12So I think his thing was guideline. That's what's scientifically. They're guidelines, right? To how to treat you guys.
SPEAKER_03No.
SPEAKER_12No.
SPEAKER_09He literally used the word guideline. Okay. It might have just been one of the words he used. So what's what's the shut up, Switch? What's what's the what's the overall theme of what like boundaries are just where you I mean say that's for me.
SPEAKER_03Like for women, boundaries is like say, like, no, don't be for yourself. I don't wanna well like say for instance, I'm just putting it an example. Like, if a female don't feel a type of waves of a man touching them in a certain spot or something, that's a boundary that you crossed. Right? I'm just saying that my boundaries is like, that's okay. My vial, my boundaries is verbally, verbal boundaries. Like, this is what boom boom boom, cross that boundaries, that's just me. Everybody is different, but I just gave that preference for the female and a male, cause that's boundaries. Right? Right or wrong.
SPEAKER_09This is a type of boundary.
SPEAKER_03Okay.
SPEAKER_09Do you have a response or you want me?
SPEAKER_06Anybody else wanting to say what they do?
SPEAKER_13Yeah, I I don't know. I think I mean when it comes to boundaries, you do think about lines being crossed. Um, well, lines being crossed. But um, you know, I think just it's just like setting it is like like setting some kind of line or some kind of wall. I know, I know. Um kind of something of barrier. You don't want to hit a boundary. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Um something to like keep you from things that you don't want to affect. Like, like just I don't know. I'm I'm fine.
SPEAKER_07What did you say?
SPEAKER_09Nothing. I'm gonna move on. So, what is the boundary? A boundary is a line that separates one thing from another. Sometimes it's physical, emotional, legal, invisible, and the most interesting part is every healthy system has boundaries. Countries, businesses, families, friendships, and even your body has its own boundaries. We only complain about boundaries when we're being told no. If you think I'm lying, when was the last time somebody else's boundary frustrated you? Never. When you didn't get your way.
SPEAKER_08What you mean?
SPEAKER_09If you love boundaries, that's not a problem, right?
SPEAKER_08I ain't trying to do this manipulation thing that's.
SPEAKER_13Now, hold on, I'm gonna ask Swish a question because if if you were with a woman, she said her boundary is you cannot call her a bitch.
SPEAKER_08I'm respect it. That's my woman.
SPEAKER_13You sure?
SPEAKER_08Yeah. If she if she if she's a type that don't like that term of endearment.
unknownBut if you don't let her homegirl call her.
SPEAKER_08Her homegirls ain't her man. Yeah, if it's my woman and she don't let me because I say I say bitch a lot. I call her, I'll be like, yo, I I hate to digress, but I just seen that interview with ASAP Rocket. He called Rihanna his bitch a hundred times. Oh, he didn't call her. Well, he was like, bro, that's my bitch. He said, Walk O'Sarres walked up and said, Hey Rihanna, he said, Don't talk to my bitch.
SPEAKER_03Oh, I didn't see that. You said that?
SPEAKER_08Yeah, Rihanna? He called her, he referred to her as his bitch multiple times in an interview. Oh shit. No, I ain't, you know, I ain't turn it. No. I'm looking at her like, wait, no, Rihanna wasn't there. But he's still. He was just referring to her. She's gonna watch it. Yeah, you're gonna watch it and see it, yeah, yeah. Absolutely. But I'm just saying, like, if certain girls understand it, certain girls they just don't want to understand it. And ain't nothing wrong if you don't want to understand it. You feel me? Because it is.
SPEAKER_13But if it's your woman, if she said, Don't call me a bitch, you would respect it.
SPEAKER_08Yeah, I've done been in a situation like that before.
SPEAKER_09Okay, good. Thank you.
unknownThat's what we're talking about.
SPEAKER_08But if she's not around if she's not around and I'm talking to other people, I'm be like, Yeah, that's not bitch.
SPEAKER_09Seven, seven, they're stuck on like relationship boundaries and physical boundaries. So I'm gonna talk about a couple of different types of boundaries, geographic boundaries.
Geographic And Physical Boundaries
SPEAKER_09Because I don't want the whole segment to be about relationships. Like I said, boundaries can apply to many other aspects of life. So countries have boundaries, they got rivers, mountains, fences, oceans. China has the great wall of China. I'm pretty sure there's other landmarks that separate countries, but why? Because if nobody knows where one country ends and another begins, you get confusion. Conflict, argument, and sometimes war. So something a little bit more current. The Rio, the Rio Grande, much of which is in the US and in Mexico, while m mountain ranges such as the Alps and I think it's the Pyrenees Mountains have historically served as natural borders for Europe. So the Rio Grande separates the US and Mexico and the and had the fence as well, but like before the fence. And then stop doing that, Swish. It would just be funny in eclipse. Mountains, mountains serve as natural borders. So until recently, nobody called a country rude for protecting its borders. And somehow people have gotten so offended that not only is um I think some people would disagree.
SPEAKER_08I think some Mexicans would disagree with that.
SPEAKER_09Not only do they question personal boundaries, but they question geographical boundaries as well. For example, would be like when they were allowing the refugees to come in to America from Ukraine. Now don't quote me because I don't know everything about it, but they were allowing those refugees to come in to the US. Somebody just got invaded, too. But Mexicans couldn't come into the US or they would be considered illegal. That was a whole thing, like between the two when it comes to boundaries. And it has something to do with uh like conflict and and historical boundaries. Because I feel like Mexico and the US have always been separated.
SPEAKER_12No. No? No, Texas was a part of Mexico.
SPEAKER_09Um thank you. When when did Mexico become Mexican-American War?
SPEAKER_12Texas was you know, like the uh six flags? Yeah, it's because of that. Yeah.
SPEAKER_08Well, who just got uh they border invaded Spain and Morocco.
SPEAKER_12Okay, Spain and Morocco all the people was coming in the yeah, but it's like a that's really convoluted and it all ties back to actually our current administration.
SPEAKER_03I know who to act. Maybe we'll get into that.
SPEAKER_09Right. Next, physical boundaries. Uh, this is the one that people think about a lot when they uh talk about boundaries. It's about who hugs you. You know, like those uh where's my hug type of niggas. Um or the girls that just be sitting on everybody's lap who touches you, who walks into the bathroom without knocking, who grabs your phone, who thinks they can just show up at your house without calling person.
SPEAKER_08That's the what? That's the I don't play that. I don't play that. It'll be cut. Oh, okay. I was about to propose to you the same day. We're done. It's over with. Announce yourself while you're at your residence or wherever you at. Not announce yourself at my door. Oh my god. Oh my god, it's got triggered.
SPEAKER_07Were you waiting for me?
SPEAKER_09Were you waiting for me to say that one? God damn. You are good. That really did trigger you. So those those are physical boundaries. And here's the thing: a lot of people um don't take into consideration, you don't owe anybody physical access to you. Not because they're your friends, your family, your romantic partner. Uh like you could know each other for years and you don't owe them any physical access to you. Or should just because they want it, they could be working on establishing a relationship where they respect your boundaries and say, you know, I'm willing to compromise with your boundary to get the the access that I want. But if they just flat out don't respect your boundaries, especially when it comes to physical boundaries, and it's not just what most people think of when it comes to like the violent physical boundaries, it's more so like just allowing yourself to be separate right now, very triggered away from people, and and have that person give you that space, or people give you that space. So, to put it in perspective, why do we teach kids about stranger danger?
SPEAKER_08Because we don't want them to get kidnapped.
SPEAKER_09Or why do we say don't let nobody touch you?
SPEAKER_08Because your body is your temple.
SPEAKER_09But when you think about it, this is something that adults struggle with on a daily basis. Um people giving you unwanted hugs, forcing you to shake their hand when you don't want to shake their hand. The the hand the hand the hand shaking thing is a huge thing because why do I have to shake your hand or hug you to greet you? Why can't I just wave? And I'm not speaking for myself, I'm speaking for physical boundaries because there are people that physically do not want to touch other people. But that isn't something that humans or not humans that adults respect, but it's something that we teach our kids. You know, stranger danger, don't strangers, and then don't let nobody touch you. If if somebody walked up and touched, or not touched, but hugged your child and they came back and was like, that lady just gave me a hug, would you be like, oh shit, why the fuck isn't you you know, would you escalate versus somebody giving you a hug like in y'all talking at the bar and you just ran? You don't know this lady. You know what I'm saying? Like it's a little bit more acceptable when you're an adult than when we're teaching our kids. So it I say all that to say that boundaries are something that are taught over time, but they also need to be respected over time.
Emotional Boundaries And Emotional Labor
SPEAKER_09And that leads me to emotional boundaries. It's um something that gets people in trouble all the time. Emotional boundaries doesn't mean I don't care, it means I'm not carrying emotions that don't belong to me. Some of us are empaths and we feel for others, but we also have to be aware when we are being taken advantage of. Some people treat you like an emotional storage unit with unlimited space and no rent. Filling it to the brim with everything that they own but the kitchen kitchen sink when it comes to their bullshit. Even, you know, problems, crisis, bad days, bad hair days, benting sessions. You become responsible for fixing their shit and it comes tumbling down every time. It reminds me of one fucked up game of Jenga. Every time you get a piece of something to fix for that person and you put it right back on top of the pile, and they're not doing anything to fix themselves. Sometimes you need emotional boundaries. Sometimes you gotta be able to tell your friend, you know what, I really don't want to hear about your mess right now. I'm in a good mood and I don't want you to bring my vibe down. Or or like when sometimes men and women come home from work and they want to vent to their spouse, but they don't consider whether or not their spouse wants to hear them venting at that time. Like if it it it just is it's more so like don't take your emotional baggage and give it to me if it's not something that I want. Like if I'm asking for it and I'm like, hey, let's have a conversation about this, let's dig deep into why the fuck you don't like your coworkers, then I'm asking to be a part of that. But otherwise, don't just assume that I want to be a part of your your shit. And a lot of people do that. I I have people that only call me when they need something or only call me when their life is in shambles, and I'm just like I'm struggling too.
SPEAKER_08But you're a therapist, though.
SPEAKER_09I'm not a therapist. Oh my gosh.
SPEAKER_08Not a therapist, you're 100% a therapist.
SPEAKER_09Definitely not.
SPEAKER_08Thank you.
SPEAKER_13Have you I have a question towards the end of that? Do you feel like you've set a boundary with those people who call you?
SPEAKER_09Most of them. So now nobody calls me, but like I have people that literally I don't talk to them about anything good. And I've had to tell people like, I don't talk to you about anything good. I don't know if I want to keep talking to you. But at the same time, I don't want to set the expectation that when you call people, you always have to have something good to say. But if you have like an emotional train behind you where it's always something negative or sad or something like that, as much as you want to be supportive, you also have to be able to step back and be like, nah, I gotta set a boundary for
Time Boundaries And Phone Etiquette
SPEAKER_09myself. Their shit isn't my shit. Now, for the sake of time, I'm gonna skip over time boundaries. But actually, no, because you really have to. This is a big one for me because um time is probably one of the boundaries that I feel like people disrespect the most. Yeah, calling without texting. The worst is when you FaceTime or video chat and they want you to sit on the phone with them for hours. Or especially when they want you to sit on the phone and you looking at their ceiling. Oh my gosh. Doing nothing.
SPEAKER_13I don't want to be on the phone with you in the shower.
unknownNo.
SPEAKER_03Now, you know what's crazy what these kids do nowadays? My son does it, he's 20. Like, these kids, they will sit on the phone, whoever's on FaceTime, and not talk and just be sitting there.
SPEAKER_07Yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_12Like, no. Yeah. I'm like, yo, what the fuck? I mean to be fair, we did that too. We just didn't have FaceTime. It was with the house phone. No, I never did that. People did that. I did that. Like, you call and sleep with somebody on the phone.
SPEAKER_08You don't sit on the phone with your person and you and just in college.
SPEAKER_12Yeah, we did it. It was just a different medium then.
SPEAKER_03In college. That's kind of weird to me. I'm like, yo, I hate that. Why are you not talking to your people? Oh, we we just chilling.
SPEAKER_12It's like parallel play. It's parallel play. Like when you're doing something with somebody, but you're not necessarily engaged and you're it's just enjoying the company. Yeah.
SPEAKER_06Parallel play. I like that in person.
SPEAKER_12I get that.
SPEAKER_03I guess a lot of the kids are parallel playing then.
SPEAKER_09Yeah, I mean, not even just the kids, the adults.
SPEAKER_12These co-working spaces isn't the co-working spaces that people advertise, the coffee shops where everybody in there with their laptop doing something, that's parallel play. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03And the terms on the opposite under the company.
SPEAKER_12Because you're not engaging with those people, but you're there with those people doing your own thing, but you're doing it with other people around. You're not necessarily engaging, but you're enjoying the company. Otherwise, you can do what you're doing at home.
SPEAKER_03Thank you.
SPEAKER_12But you wouldn't like it because you're going to be alone.
SPEAKER_03Right. Well, parallel play. I don't know about that parallel play and shit. I'm parallel play with me.
SPEAKER_13That's parallel. Y'all ain't trying to think about it either. I mean, you know.
SPEAKER_03Nah, because if you sit on the phone or FaceTime, you ain't saying shit. I'm hanging up on you.
SPEAKER_09I I mean, I definitely, I definitely do. And I'm one of those people, I got like maybe three sayings. I'll be like, well, um, my other one I like to use is um I'm gonna let you go. And the third one that I use is my dad's calling me. Because nigga, I'm not finna, I can't do it. I'm Polly, and I promise you, I will have so many partners if I could sit on the phone and FaceTime with people. They want to sit on the phone and FaceTime with me, and I cannot. I don't want to look at you that long through a camera phone on the screen. Like, I mean Can't do it. I get it, I get the connection, but like I also feel like my time is my time at times.
SPEAKER_08Oh, you can't just be honest.
SPEAKER_09I am, I am, I'm honest, but like I feel like honesty doesn't keep people from wanting what they want.
SPEAKER_08So if you be like, all right, I'm done talking, I have nothing else to provide to this conversation. I'm getting off the phone now because you don't pay my phone bill. Bye. What are you gonna say?
SPEAKER_09Well, no, I don't, I don't I've never I've never explained it fully like that. I've said that I don't have anything else to say, or we don't have anything else to talk about, and I got off the phone. And it just it just kind of holds somebody to like a standard where you're like, I you gotta have something to talk about with this person, but I don't want that. No, if that makes sense, I don't want, I don't want like a super structured um, let me ask you a question and you have a response and back and forth type of thing. That's not what I'm talking about when I when I say my time, it's more so like everybody has their individual lives going on. Like if you play a game of GTA online, everybody has their own shit that they got going on. If I take time out of my day to like sit on FaceTime with you, like value that time or like show me that you're valuing that time. I get the whole connection shit. I get that shit. I do get it because I used to fall asleep on the phone with people, but now at my big old age, it's kind of just like I got shit to do. And granted, maybe I shouldn't be living my life in that mode because I really don't be having shit to do. I'm sitting there crocheting and shit. Like I can sit on the phone with you, but I don't want to, and that's why it's called boundaries. Moving on, I'm so sorry. Expecting immediate replies, assuming you're free because you're home, like people can come over. Uh or just because you have time, it it doesn't mean that you owe everybody your time. That that's what I was saying earlier. I like to say no. It just is just so when I say yes, people are always like so excited that I'm saying yes, so that I don't have to say yes a lot. I can say it every once in a while, sprinkle a little bit of yes in there. You know, don't you don't don't always be ready to give people your time. So why why do people feel guilty about that? Why do people feel guilty about like reclaiming their time or being selective with their time, saying I'm unavailable or um not apologizing for not answering the phone when somebody called you, especially when they call you like four, five, six times in a row. And I get it, you might think I'm dead, but like blocked. Oh my god, why are you calling me that many times? If I didn't answer the first time, I might not answer the the fifth time. Seventh time. But like, granted, it could be a communication thing. Say, hey, I'm not gonna answer your phone, so stop calling me. But then people don't always respect boundaries.
SPEAKER_13Sound like anxiety.
SPEAKER_09What people? No, I I think people just like I like I said earlier, I think people just want what they want in life. And when you when you want what you want in life, it's kind of hard to accept when it's not just gonna go the way you want.
SPEAKER_13Yeah, I think I was angling it more like if somebody kept calling. I agree and they think that you're I agree. Oh, like I'm gonna do that. How do they not answer when I call? Yeah. You wouldn't do like what if they text you? Okay. A text is fine.
SPEAKER_12Some form of communication could be. I get if you don't want to talk, but again, respect the fact that you know that there's a love there and I care about you. Let me know you're fine.
SPEAKER_09Do you do you respect the do not disturb on iPhones?
SPEAKER_12Oh my god, I can't stand. I really thank you. I really cannot stand it. I cannot stand up.
SPEAKER_03I'm called twice and I'm gonna do it. Do not disturb me doing that.
SPEAKER_11Don't send you. Thank you so much. I'm not calling you back. You you're making me call you multiple times now with the D and D. You claim you don't like multiple calls, and yet you put on a boundary that makes me have to call you more than once to even get it. No, because they'll be the same ones that say, I didn't get your call because you got it on DD. Yeah, but why you didn't get my call? What?
SPEAKER_09We we we only say we don't get your call, so we won't be expected to answer the call.
SPEAKER_13Oh wow. See, I I mean, speaking for me and my friends, I called twice anyway. I call the first time and I hang up immediately, and then I'm calling again. I know, burn in my hand.
SPEAKER_09I'm not calling you. Oh, damn. That's crazy. All right, y'all. I'm gonna close it out. I promise, because every the room is kind of a little triggered, and we triggered for different reasons. Yes, very true. Regions and reasons. Um, I wanted to talk about uh digital boundaries, but I'm gonna skip over that for time's sake. The biggest misunderstanding that I think people have with boundaries is that they think people get boundaries um like perceived well, they not they think people get boundaries, but the biggest biggest misunderstanding, excuse me, is that boundary is perceived as disrespect. That somebody setting a boundary or limiting what you can have access to is a means of disrespect. Um a boundary isn't really you can't do that. Um that's a rule. A boundary says if it's happening, this is what's this is what I'm going to do. Okay. One person tries to control another person and the other person controls their own response. I think most of the kids that I have in my life have heard from me at least one or two times in their life. You can't control how people react to what you gotta say. All you can control is yourself. So you like let people do whatever people are gonna do because you're gonna drive yourself crazy trying to control other people. Just let the shit happen. That's all it is. If people respect your boundaries, they respect your boundaries. If they don't, fuck them. Why would you want somebody around you that doesn't respect your boundaries? So my final thoughts. And that's just common sense, y'all. My final thoughts. I think boundaries are less about keeping people out, and they're more about teaching people how they can um stay a part of life or stay a part of people's lives. Um people who respect your boundaries usually don't have to remind you more than once. And I don't think that makes sense once I said it aloud, but I'm gonna repeat it just in case. People who respect your boundaries, you won't have to say it more than once. Like you won't have to say your boundary more than once if that person respects your boundaries. So you're giving them the information and they should pay attention to the information that they're giving that they're being given if they respect you. And not every no is a rejection, nor does it call for things to be used and compared and future arguments or um to throw it back in a person's face. Not every boundary means someone loves you less. Sometimes is exactly how they protect the relationship they have with you. Um the world around them, and sometimes even themselves, like people set personal boundaries as well. Boundaries are like the guardrails when you go to play bowling, they're there to help you, and they should be used as a tool, not a fucking method of destruction.
Personal Boundaries People Actually Keep
SPEAKER_09But one question that I wanted to ask everybody if they don't mind answering, is what are some boundaries that you have in place for your platonic relationships or your romantic relationships? And anybody can go first.
SPEAKER_03Just respect, motherfucker, respect. That's it.
SPEAKER_09That's my boundary. That's a huge like blanket statement. That should be basic though. No, because not respect isn't the same to everybody, but like that's like I could I could go on a tangent about that because respect is different for everybody. So you'll never know when you're disrespecting a person unless they tell you boundaries. I got bars, I'm about to start rapping. Platonic or romantic, it doesn't have to be both.
SPEAKER_13Take it away, take it away, Luce.
SPEAKER_01The thing about what you're speaking of, is like guidelines that just dictate the notions of of what people's lives are assimilated to. So whatever they feel strongly, like a long time ago in prison, a dude told me, say, writing a book, said life is defined by three moral concepts. So your beliefs, your morals, and your principles. They establish your foundation. So I don't feel like having the boundaries or the guidelines to really depict how somebody comes across or I come across, but more or less like he said, it's more about the respect. It is a kind of a blanket effect, but at the same time, it just covers a wide array of what the concept is. So when it boil all boils down to it's just like, you know what I'm saying, just the naturality of a good fucking human being. Because anything outside of that is just fucking you're an asshole and you deserve to get punched in the fucking face. You know what I'm saying? That's just how it is. I mean, like shit, like, you know what I'm saying? A lot of people, a lot of people don't even understand how I am. It's so funny because a lot of people don't even understand how I am until they really run across me, and they always got the wrong concept or wrong perspective of me. Well I should say wrong perception because the perspective would be more accurate. And that's just really sitting down and talking to me. And I'm an individual who's just like, you know what I'm saying? Um I define the things of uh of of integrity, and that comes with respect, just integrity. Just have the right to be able to do the right thing. So like niggas come across, they do the some weird shit or something like that. I'm like, I just play it from afar. Like it really doesn't really, that's what I'm saying. Like, they're really like guidelines and just adapted by another person's perception or perspectives or however they, you know, their foundation for their life. So I really can't say like it's being a boundary, but just more or less just naturality of life. Like fucking Darwinism.
SPEAKER_06Okay, I get that. Like every every human should have the boundary of respect.
SPEAKER_04Hey, shout out to uh boundary. Who is that? You got one? Oh, Egypt goddess. You said they always consider the audience responses, love it. Uh-huh.
SPEAKER_06Thank you. Thank you for that. What did she say?
SPEAKER_04I don't know.
SPEAKER_09I feel like you should read the the before you read it aloud, like in your head first. What?
SPEAKER_04They always consider the audience responses, love it.
SPEAKER_09I mean, you can read, yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04Oh.
SPEAKER_09It just was about to say something. Oh, what was you about to say? Go ahead, Diamond. Oh, my boundary. My boundary. Oh, yeah, her boundary.
SPEAKER_13No reading comments when I'm about to speak. Oh. I'm weak. Um, I would say, I feel like it goes for a romantic boundary and a platonic boundary for me. But I would say um you can't, I don't I don't appreciate if your voice is raised, you like I would say don't cuss at me. Don't don't cuss at me at all. Um when you are upset. Okay. When you are mad at me, do not cuss at me. And it is a big difference because you saying I'm so fucking irritated, is not shut the fuck up. Correct. Okay. Don't cuss at me when you're irritated. We if we joking and all of that, you can shut the fuck up. Like, that's okay, that's fine. But when you're upset and you're serious and you want me to take you serious, don't cuss at me. Because that's gonna take me to a different point. That's disrespectful to me.
SPEAKER_06Urge you. Yeah, urge.
SPEAKER_08It all goes to the follow-up question. Follow up questions. Are you cussing at him in yelling?
SPEAKER_13I do not. I I do I I make sure I don't. Yeah, I'm gonna ask you. Yeah, I don't know.
SPEAKER_08I just ask for the people. I just ask for the people.
SPEAKER_03Shout out to my girl to upset.
SPEAKER_09Message new.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, message.
SPEAKER_09Okay.
Sex As A Boundary And Dealbreakers
SPEAKER_09I have one more question about boundaries. And I want people to be adults about this question because I really want to know. Do you have um sexual boundary where if the sex was bad in the instincts that was most frequent that you don't go back? If if the most frequent engagement with this person was bad, like the sex was bad, it was good before.
SPEAKER_07I think that's what it has me stumped.
SPEAKER_09No, yeah.
SPEAKER_08It was good before, and that was bad this one time.
SPEAKER_03Like, right, how many times?
SPEAKER_09Yes, that's what I'm saying. Like, if you've had them before, like as soon as something bad happens, you're like, okay, never mind. I don't want that.
SPEAKER_03It depends on what we're off date.
SPEAKER_13No, I mean it definitely I feel like for me as an individual, because it wouldn't just be anybody. No, I wouldn't just I mean it dep we probably try something new.
SPEAKER_09I mean, what if I mean it me we need to know why? I heard you on the trial. It was bad. Like, but what about the whole sexual chemistry conversations that people have? What if the chemistry is like tipping off? Do you just keep trying to see if you're gonna get the same result? Or do you say, you know what, I'm good off that? Um right, yeah, uh good off that.
SPEAKER_13It would be somebody that um I care like because of who it would be. No, I wouldn't just rid them off. We that's my that's my partner.
SPEAKER_09Okay, so what if it was just a one-night stand and it was bad? That's a one-night stand for it. I ain't even the same question. That's what I'm saying. But she she's associating more than one time with partner. We're not thinking partner, we're thinking individual. But if it's a one-night stand, it couldn't have been frequent. But I'm okay. Because if you're a partner, you're committed to that person.
SPEAKER_03All right, we gotta.
SPEAKER_09So, which is the question? My sexual partner. I mean, individuals women.
SPEAKER_00I mean over there.
SPEAKER_13If okay, if it's one night stand and it's bad, why would you go back?
SPEAKER_12It's a one night stand regardless. If whether it was good or if it was bad, it's a one night stand and I'm not seeing them again.
SPEAKER_03One night stand by the hair. It was bad, definitely not coming back. So even if it was good, I'm not coming back.
SPEAKER_12That would defeat the purpose of it.
SPEAKER_09No, but the it the misunderstanding is that there was a uh between one time, multiple times, and just the other day. What I'm trying to figure out is if you had sex with a person and it was good, and then that one time, the most recent time, like you wake up the next day and the sex was bad, and you're reflecting on previous sex that was good, but that sex was bad, do you go back and try it again, or do you cut that like that's what I'm trying to if it was good and then it was bad, you gotta go back and try again and see if it's gonna be good or bad.
SPEAKER_03Good, bad, bad, good, bad, bad. Who gives a fuck?
unknownI'm like, damn, I'm supposed to be ready for work, but this shit is crazy.
SPEAKER_07But that's not y'all, y'all into it.
SPEAKER_09Um but yeah, I'm Lex rated. This is triggered. If you were triggered, then I did my job.
SPEAKER_03Absolutely. Do not try it again. Uh man. All right, Diamond, do you have anything to add as far as segment anything you want to get for chess?
SPEAKER_13Um, no, but it's Dominal About Me. Um, just kind of throwing everything together.
Childhood Games And Where Lines Blur
SPEAKER_13Um, I got a question. Um, since you was talking about that up north game and we're talking about boundaries.
SPEAKER_04Oh shit.
SPEAKER_13I'm from the south. But do y'all remember the game? What it what is it, hide and go get it?
SPEAKER_12Yes. Hide and go get it. That sounds like hide and go seek. I've noticed that. Yeah. Out there, they were rough. We were a little bit.
SPEAKER_03Please explain what it's gonna be. The girl gonna hide and the nigga gonna find it, and I gonna.
SPEAKER_13How y'all play it up north?
SPEAKER_07That's how it's played.
SPEAKER_13Y'all might have been a little different.
SPEAKER_08Playing house with their cousins. That's what they do.
SPEAKER_03Oh no! That's that ain't good. Who? Wait, so explain the game. How does the game go? Up north for the south. The south. Wow.
SPEAKER_13That's great. Okay.
SPEAKER_03What's the game?
SPEAKER_13But it's like how done go seek, but okay. That's what it is. Can you relax?
SPEAKER_10You're doing something freaky. Some instances just experiment. You fucking. Sometimes you know we know that. Okay. We're young as hell. We know they finish. We finished playing high go games and playing out.
SPEAKER_03So it's like house.
SPEAKER_10You may not get fucked, but they go in there to do adult shit. They don't do adult shit. You're going to be freaky.
SPEAKER_03You already know who is the age range of this game?
SPEAKER_10Huh?
SPEAKER_03What is the age range of this game?
SPEAKER_10Like this is a game you play as a kid. Yeah. How old?
SPEAKER_03What's the ages?
SPEAKER_13Oh, he don't know, he don't know what that means. So probably like as soon as you can go outside and be by yourself, you can eight to thirteen years.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, yeah. How to go get it at eight years old?
SPEAKER_10Put on this game. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03That's nasty work. That's why when you said fucking, I was like, whoa.
SPEAKER_10Yeah, that's nasty work. You may be the youngest one. And we know that girl wanna do that. Uh-huh. We may play how to go get it just so you can get some ass. Real time. At eight years old? Hell yeah. Hell yeah.
SPEAKER_03I mean, as you get older, see that's why I fucking with y'all south motherfuckers. How to go get it at eight years old. But he said y'all played it up north too. So no, no, no, no. Up north was called we can play hide and seek. Niggas hiding. Oh, we got you. Y'all played it up north. There's another, there's another game up north niggas to play like House. House is different. Now House is a whole different ball game. House is like the same thing as a it's like hiding, like hiding game. That's the same thing. High and seek ain't nothing like that. Unless niggas was perverted and like, yo, ha I gotcha, ha. Do some shit. Like that's not what the tip of the game was.
SPEAKER_08Did y'all play manhunt?
SPEAKER_03Manhunt, facts. Yeah, manhunt. Manhunt was so damn damn sure they played manhunt.
SPEAKER_07Yeah, you played manhunt.
SPEAKER_03Let's lie, that's it.
SPEAKER_13I didn't play manhunt.
SPEAKER_03See, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's an extended code. That's manhunt after dog type shit. So wait, what's manhunt? Man, it's like is it's like it's like you got a crowd of people, right? And it's one person. So everybody like hideers. So you gotta hunt each nigga down. And the person that you, if you find somebody, then they join a fray and they gotta hunt each other down. Oh, I did play that.
SPEAKER_13I didn't know it was called Manhunt. Okay.
SPEAKER_03That was a fun game. Niggas be in trees and shit. Like this nigga's in the tree. You wanna play the spot?
SPEAKER_13I'm the man that's right.
SPEAKER_10Niggas wanna play how to go get it. Wait. Pause. Wait. Oh man.
SPEAKER_03How to go get it? Yeah. Right, pot and bars, pot and bars.
Pot And Bars Freestyles
SPEAKER_09And are you on the Bluetoothy?
SPEAKER_03Yes, the Bluetooth is on.
SPEAKER_09I said, are you?
SPEAKER_03Oh, and I am on um hit that note.
SPEAKER_08I don't if I am, I'm off now.
SPEAKER_06What's your name?
SPEAKER_09Potting bars, pot and bars. Some people seem to believe your name is uh um It is that Ariola.
SPEAKER_03It is his name is Ariola. It is that you say Trav said y'all freaky. But we used to play how to go get it.
SPEAKER_08No, your freaky ass play how to go get it, Trav. I know your freaky ass play how to go get it. How to go get it.
SPEAKER_06He thought it was really got a Bluetooth setup?
SPEAKER_09I think so.
SPEAKER_03Hey, if anybody in the live, if they rap, no fuck no. Yeah, that was dope. Them niggas was in them niggas was lit.
SPEAKER_09I got plenty of words for it.
SPEAKER_08Them niggas was lit, man. You usually the type that tell a nigga his shit trash.
SPEAKER_10So I'm just here like, why is he guys in the shit? Cause it was dope. It was like, keep that shit going, nigga.
SPEAKER_03Keep that shit going.
SPEAKER_10Who that? I can't.
SPEAKER_03We all we all did. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Talk about we all did. What y'all doing over there? You just came out how to go get it.
SPEAKER_09I did not. Set it. Yeah, set it. Everybody went play. Everybody would play it again. I would not like it. Some people couldn't even lead it. There you go.
unknownLet me see.
SPEAKER_08Alright, we got it. Let me see. Let me see. I just wrote it. Let me see.
SPEAKER_02Nope.
SPEAKER_08That's no.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_07I ain't never heard that before. Leave the board alone.
SPEAKER_08I thought that was Clarissa. I thought that was you that said that. Oh, that says so. So incredible. I thought that was you. I got chills.
SPEAKER_07He got stuck, right? Are you ready? So incredible.
SPEAKER_08Let me try this again.
SPEAKER_02Come on, you know how I kick it. Sneak a con foot like a my sport hip. With like a gymnast. Trap metabolism. Skinny nigga, move wave with the motherfucking quickness. My thick bitch stay and plan the fitness. It's a marathon, not a race. Can't you go the distance? Paced the cell feel more in it. Every verse is telling I'm spot with written. Gifted with the interest. A third leg is not my bridges. I know I'm existence. How is this even the bathroom? I never richly works in the pointy teenagers. We got their hard mosques, always pop doom. Smokey wire cake. This is like the terrible tip. My bitch keep a road to a top tuna. Too much road running, think the kid need a tuna. Too tasty though, you know what he be on. Both rings, cause the ripple strong. Track terrorists, yeah, I keep it ball. I think my new pack came from now. The head hate me, my child. But my hustle came from moms. Fighting the system, playing for the promps. But we make my props. Machine more evil than make a trime. Woman naughty mad. I never came to Day Seyance. My ex hate me.
SPEAKER_03What out loose? You going on, Luce? What we doin'?
SPEAKER_08That's what it stopped at. I was about to freestyle, but that's where it stopped at.
unknownOkay.
SPEAKER_03We gotta bring the uh the the damn the damn mic back to the night.
unknownFreestyle.
SPEAKER_08Freestyle it out. You got it? Who next? Flea, what's up? What we doing? Flea, you jumping on Flea? Oh, losing the flea. Whoever next?
SPEAKER_03Oh, I can't see you, nigga.
SPEAKER_08I said put some respect on his name.
SPEAKER_03I got it on black and you got on all black. I just see some sparklies. Huh? Flee? So don't like fleeing. He then sure do and go right back there. I can't see this nigga. Go with a cut.
SPEAKER_08Flee! Here we are, man.
SPEAKER_03You up? Alright. Bottom bars. Running back.
SPEAKER_02Playlist with a fish that's Malaysian. Guaranteed that's my favorite. Had to operate up. So I'll passage the vagrants. Dump to ask, I be spinking. They don't need to thank them. I'll come up. I got that dirt like a plantation. That you're still busting by transportation. So I stink like the truck is full of sanitation. I brought the emulation. I be playing classic, like I ain't graduation. In documentary, roll up and stick my penacy. Memories based on conviction and state jealousy. But it was good times to let me fly. Now the niggas only tennis. I dust it off when you walk in that upper chest. Love me, nigga shit. Look forward to quick right. And I said she got a runner for the switch. I'ma pass it off to Switch like the voice. He's a madman. He be lookin' for that nigga. I'll be knocking up this trash.
SPEAKER_03Get smack silly. Free track save, fleet. Okay, loose the bar in the building.
SPEAKER_04Okay. We go, loose.
SPEAKER_02Nigga stay nice, imaginate hype, story telling seaching effect. Is that a proper dice to fab? Ahead of my tongue, something like this, right? Walls overload. My parents to be different ever since. I said who's niggas stay nice, imaginative hype, storytelling seating effect. Is that a proper dice craft? Head on my tongue, something like this, right? Balls the book, boxes, jumping a change like distance and differences when you change the light. Over the jobs, you don't make it type. They bad the right, alright? Four swings saying it's a light, big distinction, making the rabbits that white. Mag factors, the five step force from any eyes. My brackets are different heights. My level is out of sight, it's a different light. We can open the bike, bucket's opening lights, and bad light, an opening fight. That's bad for the whole pipe. We don't work for empty to this biggest device. And the bag is the right, the biggest thing, right? It's fine. I took with the flavor. Only take with my right. I'm books and it's marked with five. Bring the X's to life. The fist is fine with the fist and eat it. Set with spikes. Never acting for missing line, feed of the wife. I can down the gold cake with both the right. It's the facts be my lane. This is the hype. It's funny I hate it. Stay on wall, watch the fix, keep the script to fight. Keep your eyes full of tight. Just to discuss the right defense, make me hand the office a lot. Feel work is not the end of the move to the right. To the top round, got five demons to sight. I rigged go hand in hand like a roll of dice. Same way to risk over when you put in the bike. God damn.
SPEAKER_03Listen, if y'all and it was still if y'all can't rap, don't come on pot and balls, man.
SPEAKER_10If y'all can't rap, call the M Lamps. Huh? Call the M Lamps.
SPEAKER_03Call Amble Lamps.
SPEAKER_10Call the Ambleam. Yeah, call Ambalamps.
SPEAKER_09Calified apartment. Calified apartment. Hide your kids, Hidewise.
SPEAKER_03Hide the Kids Hide.
Final Shoutouts And Closing
SPEAKER_03Hide your kids how to walk. Hey, shout out to everybody on TikTok, man, that been checking in, man. Fuck with y'all on TikTok.
SPEAKER_09Right, because we not live on Instagram anymore, and you know.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, Instagram can be Instagram is like that, man. Depends. Instagram is tricky. They all give us a change like every third stuff.
SPEAKER_09You don't ever start on time.
SPEAKER_03That's true. That's true. But TikTok loves us, man. I love TikTok. We love y'all too, man. Shout out to anybody else. Just gotta get all y'all motherfuckers. But y'all mean on that note, we gotta switch. Exit out. Ready? I don't know what the fuck he was doing. Yeah, mic is on.
SPEAKER_00We lied.
SPEAKER_03We live. Uh-huh. Closing out. You know what this man show about the interclosed boy Shim McLean?
SPEAKER_08Jesus. He knew that.
SPEAKER_13It's Lex rated. It should go dominal about me. Why y'all sound so happy?
SPEAKER_09Well, it's lux rated. A lot of bullshit happened tonight. I'm traumatized. I need to go.
SPEAKER_08I don't know what she's talking about.
SPEAKER_09I'm not.
SPEAKER_13But it's dominant all about me, and we outta here.
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